Rejection hurts, and there’s no way around it. The fear of rejection is one of the deepest fears of human beings. We are capable of doing anything we want, but the fear of rejection can prevent us from taking the first step and moving forward, in case we get hurt. This is completely understandable. Completely. But by doing so, we miss out on so much.
Getting other people’s attention is a basic and necessary human need. Attention in the form of understanding, acceptance, and recognition is significant for us to flourish both physically and psychologically. We’re always fearful about the possibility of being secluded, cut off, or disgraced. Insufficient experiences of being validated, considered, appreciated, accepted, and valued as we are can lead to feelings of shame and unworthiness, which further create sensitivity to the feeling of being rejected.
Rejection can occur in many areas of our lives, such as education, interpersonal relationships, family relations, community roles, jobs, etc. Some degree of refusal and rejection is inevitable and necessary as well because it only makes it stronger. Nevertheless, rejection becomes problematic when it is prolonged and starts to affect us physically as well as mentally. A few common consequences of rejection are low self-esteem, loneliness, depression, being self-critical, etc. Some common, ineffective coping strategies for dealing with rejection anxiety include:
1. People Pleasing:
It is natural to take care of the people we love, but those who fear rejection frequently take this too far. They find it difficult to say no, even when agreeing to things that may cause major inconveniences or hardships for them. They may spend a lot of time doing something they don’t really want to do, and excessive work pressure can lead to burnout.
2. Passive-Aggressiveness:
They find it uncomfortable to show their true selves and may even shut out their needs completely, hence leading to passive-aggressive ways. It includes patterns of behavior such as forgetting, procrastination, not completing work efficiently, chronic complaining, etc.
3. Unassertiveness:
They find it hard or refuse to speak up for themselves or ask for something that they need. They try to avoid confrontation and pretend that their own needs are unimportant and don’t matter.
4. Lack of authenticity:
Many people who are afraid of rejection create a carefully supervised and scripted way of life. They are afraid of showing their true selves to others. As a result, they assume a way of behaving or being around others in an unauthentic way.
Rejection is not always bad; it helps us stay grounded and patient. It is an opportunity to revaluate, rediscover, and better understand different paths and yourself. Failures and rejections might not be pleasant at first, but it is extremely important to succeed in life. A few effective ways to overcome the fear of reaction are:
1. Find out what is really scaring you about rejection:
Explore what exactly is behind your fear of rejection, this can help you address that specific worry.
2. Face your fear:
rather than dodging situations where you might experience rejection, concentrate on putting yourself out there and boldly facing your fears. By doing so, the next time you face rejection, you will be less anxious, and you will gain confidence in your abilities to succeed.
3. Avoid negative self-talk:
It’s easy to fall into a pattern of self-criticism after facing rejection. But by doing so, we only reinforce ourselves into believing that it was our fault, even if we had nothing to do with it. Positive thinking may not always make the situation turn out differently, but it can help us improve our perspective. When we encourage and support ourselves, we are more likely to believe in our potential to accomplish our goals.
4. Cultivate resilience:
Being resilient means that you can pick yourself up after a hindrance and move forward with a transformed sense of strength and positivity. Having goals and taking steps to enhance your skills can also give you faith in your capability to bounce back from rejection.
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